How is it for you?

I am sick right now, a cold, but a very difficult one. At least for me. I have asthma so almost every time I get a cold it makes my lung capacity much worse(or lower?). Whatever. It's hard to breath ALL THE TIME.
Just a couple of minutes ago I walk much slower than I usually do, but that was enough to make me feel like I couldn't breath. I have to take asthma medication to be able to walk slower than I usually do.

So I wonder how it is for others who don't have asthma. If you get a cold, can you still walk normally and be able to breath? I'm not talking about coughing, just the breathing-part.

I really hate getting sick once every month, but oh how I appreciate those times when I get sick and still get to breath without any problems. But now it's one of those times when I can't walk from the bathroom to the livingroom and breath at the same time...

I think it's time for bed now. Sleeping is the best medication of all. Maybe not to cure asthma, but to cure a cold anyway.

Darkness

I love sunsets in the middle of the day, but I wouldn't mind having company those times I have to walk through the forest in the dark. That's how dark it was a Sunday around 5 p.m. I would easily get lost if I didn't know these streets.

No dating for me

I decided to try out a dating page, I thought it would be fun. But a couple of days later panic has reached my body. I'm just not girlfriend material, my heart don't have room for anyone else than my family and my closest friends.

I don't think I need to be fixed, because even if I am broken in some ways I'm still very happy. I'm not lonely, I'm not without love. I've got almost everything I need. The only thing that would be nice to have is a job.

I found it!

I hadn't forgot about this blog, but I had forgot about the blogadress and when I finally found it of course I had also forgotten my user name and password. Phew!

I can't understand how I couldn't find this blog through Google when I search for Miss Lovlie(do not search for Miss Lovlie, just a tip) and I also search for Beneaththesurface.blog and lots of other facts about me and things I thought I might have written here.

Anywho. I just realized that my English starts to suck again so I want to try and refresh it as much as possible.
I should also refresh my Greek, but not in a blog. THAT would be crazy-hard and way too much work for a lazy person as myself.

Today I am feeling sick as hell and I am so sick of being sick which makes me feel very angry about my week body. Sometimes I ready hate this body. I would just love to be able to practice as hard as the others at cheerleadingpractice and I would love to be able to just drink water from the same glass as a friend without getting a cold.

Manic Monday

Tomorrow is D Day! I am getting pierced for the second time around, but I'm only having positive thought. I really don't think my body will "get rid of" the piercing this time. Last time I got it done I was sick about a week for EVERY month - and continued to be sick every month after the piercing was out so that's not what caused it. But I do believe all the illnesses caused my body to resist the piercing.

In one way I feel ridiculous doing this almost 26 years old, but it's not a look-thing for me. I can't explain exactly. I started thinking about this when I was about 18, but gave it 6 years to be really sure this was something I really wanted - not a thing I wanted because others were doing it. And honestly, how many gives a piercing 6 years of thought before doing it? I have pierced my ears(except for the two first ones when I was a child) every time I've felt that I have grown as a person. Every time something big happens in my life. And when I pierced my bellybutton the first time something MAJOR had happened and I had grown more then I've ever grown before. It was the right time.
Unfortunately my body didn't agree. And I almost start to cry only thinking about how I felt that day when I realized I had to take it out to make the scar as small as possible. I could see the piercing through my skin...

Now I also feel that that particular piercing(?) is very special because I picked it out that time when I felt ready. And thankfully they are able to reuse it. I am so happy!
The first time - when the time was right - a felt like ME, more like me then I did without it. I want to feel like that again. I have lost myself this past year and I will do almost anything to find myself again.

Wish me luck!

Angry

I am angry right now. Angry at some different situations, angry at some people but most of all angry with myself.

But I'll do my best to focus on my trip to Malmö in two weeks. I was supposed to visit four months ago but I couldn't afford it. Now I've really done my best to save money and now I'm going, no empty talk, no wishing or imagining now it's for real! Only for about a week, but it's going to be an amazing week. Couldn't be anything else.

Blogger

I've been a lazy, bad blogger the past couple of months. Met a guy, spent a whole lot of time whit him, broke up, spent a whole lot of time thinking about it...I've also become addicted to going out at bars - not addicted to drinking though! Just company, music and maybe lemon water or a cup of tea. For some reason I've started to hate being alone on weekends, and hating that friends are having fun without me. Stupid, I know.

But that's my life right now and as long as it doesn't hurt me it can't be so bad? Ok, it kind of did hurt me when I went out while I was sick. But I'm much better now...Hm.