I found it!

I hadn't forgot about this blog, but I had forgot about the blogadress and when I finally found it of course I had also forgotten my user name and password. Phew!

I can't understand how I couldn't find this blog through Google when I search for Miss Lovlie(do not search for Miss Lovlie, just a tip) and I also search for Beneaththesurface.blog and lots of other facts about me and things I thought I might have written here.

Anywho. I just realized that my English starts to suck again so I want to try and refresh it as much as possible.
I should also refresh my Greek, but not in a blog. THAT would be crazy-hard and way too much work for a lazy person as myself.

Today I am feeling sick as hell and I am so sick of being sick which makes me feel very angry about my week body. Sometimes I ready hate this body. I would just love to be able to practice as hard as the others at cheerleadingpractice and I would love to be able to just drink water from the same glass as a friend without getting a cold.

Manic Monday

Tomorrow is D Day! I am getting pierced for the second time around, but I'm only having positive thought. I really don't think my body will "get rid of" the piercing this time. Last time I got it done I was sick about a week for EVERY month - and continued to be sick every month after the piercing was out so that's not what caused it. But I do believe all the illnesses caused my body to resist the piercing.

In one way I feel ridiculous doing this almost 26 years old, but it's not a look-thing for me. I can't explain exactly. I started thinking about this when I was about 18, but gave it 6 years to be really sure this was something I really wanted - not a thing I wanted because others were doing it. And honestly, how many gives a piercing 6 years of thought before doing it? I have pierced my ears(except for the two first ones when I was a child) every time I've felt that I have grown as a person. Every time something big happens in my life. And when I pierced my bellybutton the first time something MAJOR had happened and I had grown more then I've ever grown before. It was the right time.
Unfortunately my body didn't agree. And I almost start to cry only thinking about how I felt that day when I realized I had to take it out to make the scar as small as possible. I could see the piercing through my skin...

Now I also feel that that particular piercing(?) is very special because I picked it out that time when I felt ready. And thankfully they are able to reuse it. I am so happy!
The first time - when the time was right - a felt like ME, more like me then I did without it. I want to feel like that again. I have lost myself this past year and I will do almost anything to find myself again.

Wish me luck!

Angry

I am angry right now. Angry at some different situations, angry at some people but most of all angry with myself.

But I'll do my best to focus on my trip to Malmö in two weeks. I was supposed to visit four months ago but I couldn't afford it. Now I've really done my best to save money and now I'm going, no empty talk, no wishing or imagining now it's for real! Only for about a week, but it's going to be an amazing week. Couldn't be anything else.

Blogger

I've been a lazy, bad blogger the past couple of months. Met a guy, spent a whole lot of time whit him, broke up, spent a whole lot of time thinking about it...I've also become addicted to going out at bars - not addicted to drinking though! Just company, music and maybe lemon water or a cup of tea. For some reason I've started to hate being alone on weekends, and hating that friends are having fun without me. Stupid, I know.

But that's my life right now and as long as it doesn't hurt me it can't be so bad? Ok, it kind of did hurt me when I went out while I was sick. But I'm much better now...Hm.

New energy

I finally got to sleep through the night without any interruptions! It feels great, well it would have been nice to have woken up earlier, but in my defense I didn't get in bed until 4 in the morning. And I woke up at 14.20...

At least I feel rested and very positive about everything - I feel great!

Now I'll amuse myself with some make up tutorials at Youtube.

How could I be so lazy?

Ok, first of all. I just got my first comment at this blog and it made me very happy. But I got it about a month ago...Yay me.

If you are here reading don't be confused about the English...I'm Swedish and speak Swedish most of the time, but I can't not mix in English here and there. I also speak Greek sometimes but only with Z. Oh Z, she's coming home soon! I miss her even if I saw her a couple of weeks ago. It's a couple of weeks too many if you ask me.

One more thing before I go to sleep. If i misspell or am using very bad, strange grammar, please let me know! I do this partly to keep my English "alive" and partly to get better at writing. But the main reason is still that people from other countries that can't understand Swedish might want to know more about me. Well didn't that make me sound full of myself, which I also am, but at least one person has asked me to write in English...One is enough for me!

I'm going to a meeting tomorrow and it's already tomorrow so I should try to get some sleep...

Nighty night!

Addicted

I seem to be addicted to Mr Buckley these days. <3
Hallelujah.