I'm in a

I'm in a strange mood today. A good mood, but strange and giggly. Kind of an "in love"-mood, but I'm in love with everyone right now. Pretty sure this feeling will pass soon, but I'll enjoy it for now.

I've got this song stuck in my head right now, thanks to this strange feeling.

Cheerleading

I am only cheerleading. I don't have anything else right now, but the sad part is that I don't even have enough money to pay everything I already should have paid to be on the team. The thought of that hits me to the ground every time I think about it.




I haven't paid for this bag yet either.

Jane Doe

My sister's computer and my MP3 doesn't agree with each other, I can't charge it or put music in it. Instead I turned on my computer, put songs from Alicia Keys album "Songs in A minor" and MJ's "History" on it just so I could put those songs in my MP3. Phew! The computer is right now so I can charge my MP3 while I sit here by the computer with internet...

Today we ate a nice dinner and mudcake at grandma and ma's place.

Today's song is Jane Doe with Alicia Keys.

Confidence

For some strange reason, people get the idea that I have low self-esteem and that I'm insecure. I talk quietly, but that has nothing to with being insecure.

To quote a woman on Oprah, who had been overweight: "I don't feel the need to be loud. I get attention anyway."

I don't feel the need to be loud either - unless I have something important to say and when I do You will hear me.

I think that I am very attractive and often also sexy and I give myself the right to say things like that about myself(I'm not going to apologise about liking myself).

I love my body, I love my big butt that often needs size Large while my upper body is a Small/Medium. When my stomach is bloated I don't feel on top, but it's normal more often then it's bloated and to have a bloated stomach is nothing unusual so I don't put much energy thinking about that. I think that I have great legs, my thighs are pretty big, but they fit me very well.

I also think that my body is similar to Beyoncé's and she's a goddess. She's not perfect either, but flaws can easily be covered with posture and clothes that enhances other things, or body parts...

I've built my self-esteem from inside by concentrating on the things I like about myself and if there is something that isn't "perfect" like a scar, I think that most people have them so I don't give a crap.

I NEVER compare myself with someone that has a flatter stomach, muscular arms, breast that are the same size(haha) because it doesn't do me any good. I can give compliments and think that others are beautiful and hot, but that doesn't make me any less attractive.

Photos

I wanted to take some photos after my first cheer-performance in about 4 years.

Cheer-picture

I stole this picture from Jenny's blog. I am to the right of the pole(?), closest to the audience.

Eva Heart Cheerleading.

We cheer and we lead...

...we act like we're on speed.

I am now officially a cheerleader - again. My first practice, for I don't know how many years, was yesterday and today I feel a bit week in my arms and legs. But, hopefully, I'll get strong soon. :)

It feels great to be back on the team. It's like a part of me has been missing this whole time when I haven't been a cheerleader. Now I feel like a complete person again. It's hard to explain, but I feel more secure in myself, my body and mind. I feel "at home" when I'm a cheerleader.

"I am only cheerleading", it's a quote from Bring it on and even though it sounds really cheesy that is exactly how I feel. Without the cheerleading in my life I am no one. Others might not agree, but that is how I feel.