I thought I had it

That's how I thought I had it.

Every thing is upside down right now. I may not know what I want anymore, but I sure as hell don't want you.

Sometimes I feel like I'm trying too hard and other times it feels like I'm not trying hard enough. I'm never in-between.

Things are really not good right now and I want to give up trying to fix things, but that's not me. Even when I just wanna lay down and die I keep fighting. So that's what I'm doing and I'll keep doing until something changes.

I got it?

This is hard

I have a really hard time concentrating on school right now. I've written two sentences today...I think I'll go to bed early today and do better tomorrow. I should be happy that I got something done, right?

Wow!

I really thought I knew myself by know. Ha ha was I wrong! Jeez! I'm the first one to admit I lost this one. Stupid stupid me.

What would you regret?

What would you regret if you knew you where dying in a couple of days? I for one wouldn't regret guys i DIDN'T sleep with, that is just too weird. I would more likely regret one or two I have slept with, but I think what's done is done and there's no use regretting what you've already done(unless you have a time machine and can go back and undo it).

I don't know if I would regret anything I haven't done, maybe to say "I love you" to all the people I love. Got to do that! Ever since my great grandmother died I've tried to tell all my loved ones that I love them - at least once! But I have new friends that I love now too and I need to tell them just in case.

Before I get to talk to you: I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU!

I got to remember this!

I have to remember this blog! Everytime I try to find it I end up searching for it on Google with no result and after some time I remember that it's connected to one of my Gmail accounts(I got I new one because of youtube, altough I didn't want one). Well here I am again!

Pictures

New things in this season...Or not.

I can not do it

I can't be completely honest as it seems. I am a bad lier so I try to keep away from that as much as possible, but I didn't know what to answer when I got this unexpected text. It felt worse than when someone says "I love you" and you don't love that person back. My answer to "I love you" that time was "Spaghetti". That was easier than to find an answer to this - so I lied.

I guess I'm just a big fat liar now!